Are we actually as free online as in real life?

Table of Contents

Preface

I feel kind of stupid to even write all of this, but the events that led me here can not be ignored or dismissed. At least for me. Because: 1) this hit me directly, and 2) I see that this kind of approach is becoming or maybe already becoming a standard. And in my opinion, this fact undoubtedly contradicts the very basic right of any person — to be oneself and to be able to express oneself freely.

I was not only banned from social.lol Mastodon instance, but completely banned from the whole fucking omg.lol service. And the reason for that was me using the word "retard".

That escalated quickly

Long story short. I used the word "retard" in one of my posts. The next day, I saw that my account was restricted, kind of shadow-banned, because somebody reported my post. Now only my followers can see my posts. As I was using Mastodon the same way I used Twitter, I didn't care much about the global audience. I didn't use these local and federated feeds, I was just reading my feed and that was it. So I thought "Fuck it. I don't care". And there was a button to appeal for that shadow-ban. As a joke in the appealing form, I asked if it would be OK to replace "retard" with "fucking stupid". At the same time, I replied to my own message, tagging Adam, the admin of the omg.lol, telling him that I was not going to change anything. I also asked if I could be considered a racist simply based on the fact of having the word "nigger" in my post. After that, Adam simply gave me a complete ban.

How this could go differently

My side

Yeah, I could replace the "retard" with something else. Maybe use "silly" or just "stupid". But would it reflect the intensity of my message? Of course not. Then why should I do it? Yeah, I could just leave it all be, be shadow-banned and just go on like that. But I'm pretty sure that at this point it wouldn't take too long for me to eventually get banned, because this case has already shown me how things are done on social.lol. They would definitely find another reason for imposing more restrictions on me for using the words they don't like. So why indulge them? Fuck them, I want to express my opinions the way I want.

Their side

The person who reported my post... I don't know where to start.

Firstly, it is the Internet. You can be exposed to all kinds of media, opinions, etc. You can't 100% protect yourself from seeing something that you don't like. For exactly this reason, on various platforms there's a way to block users, so you stop seeing anything from them. That's it! As simple as that! But no, wait, that person wanted more. They didn't just want to stop seeing my posts, but to block me on a higher level. Why? My post was a simple rant, addressing a vaguely large group of people or even a product, a brand. So I guess it was the tone that made them want to report me. And in our email exchange, Adam told me that he got multiple reports! Can you imagine people actively seeking out those who use words they don't like, talking in a way they don't like, and reporting them? I would say that it's just not OK. Some guy's shitpost somewhere online simply shouldn't bother you so much that you go all the way reporting them with a clear understanding of how this can end.

Another approach they could use instead of reporting is just to reply to my message, saying that it's too emotional, too disturbing for them. I still wouldn't change anything, but I would at least hear that person's opinion. And next time, I think that maybe it's not that important and I could articulate this in a more mild manner. Or maybe not. But the point here is that it wouldn't be a cowardly act, but an honest "man, fuck you, I completely disapprove of what you are saying". That's the whole point of communication — to exchange opinions and views, even though it could lead nowhere. But without even an attempt to communicate, there's no point in having all these different means of communication.

What was my post even about?

Sometimes I used Twitter or Mastodon just to vent my frustration. It's just a way to direct my very strong emotions at this very moment into the void. I don't even need a reaction or a response. Just an "A-A-A-A!!" into the online abyss of nothingness and life goes on.

In that particular case, I was once again annoyed by Slack. Slack was gradually transformed from a very useful app to a pile of shit. It syncs like shit, there are bugs popping up occasionally, the support is shit. It's just a go-to solution for teams to communicate now. And when a product becomes a go-to solution, its golden age is over. It's now farming profits. They don't care about UX, or downtime or whatever. Money is what they are after now. Slack has a very weird cooldown timer for re-syncing when you wake up your computer. It's quicker to restart it than to wait for it to start syncing again by itself. And it's happening over and over again, every damn time. So, after witnessing this shit once again, out of frustration, I posted that the devs of Slack are retards and probably don't test their product in real-life scenarios. Because this case is so obvious, I just can't imagine how you could miss it and not fix it. So do I actually think that Slack devs are retards? Of course, not. But did I feel strong negative emotions at that very moment? Yes. Because when you write to support and get back another one utterly useless advice, like "Did you try to reinstall it?", you just don't have any way to express your frustration, but to shout. And I shouted. Do I constantly think that Slack is shit? Well, no. I don't think about Slack at all. I couldn't care less about it. But I just have to use it. And with all the bugs, of course, this frustration piles up.

Another good example was my post about GIMP. Again using some strong words. But that time I actually got a reply from a guy who wasn't happy about me saying these things. That was fine. I also got a response from one of the maintainers, saying that things are going to improve soon. But why did I use strong language? GIMP is ~30 years old. It's one of the few free open-source apps to do image editing. But its UX is so shit, that it's barely usable. I simply can't understand how, in the span of 30 years, devs couldn't find a way to fix this. So people stop wasting half an hour watching tutorial videos just to understand how to create an outlined text or erase to transparency. Yeah, it's free and huge. Well, create a Kickstarter campaign to fund the designers' work. Make it shine so it's the best app there. But no. Nothing like this is happening. There's a shitton of excuses for why it's shit and how they don't want to resemble Photoshop. Well, there's already a popular project called PhotoGIMP, that has a Photoshop-like UI. Doesn't this show that it's actually something that needs to be addressed? So, I can definitely feel strong emotions about wasting 20 minutes doing simple tasks in GIMP. Especially when I use it a couple of times a year.

Adam's hypocrisy

In our email exchange, Adam told me that he gave me a chance to change. What the hell is this? A chance to change? What exactly to change here? It was not about me using the word "retard". It was about people not being capable of accepting other people's way to... talk? How is it I need to change to stop using specific words, and these people don't need to learn to accept other people? Online! Not even in personal interaction. Imagine a personal interaction in this case? What would that person do? Most likely just think about me as a dick and move along. But hey! There's a report button here. Let's press it! Also, in his quest to blame me for being a stupid asshole, Adam told me that the irony is that I started my subscription while they promoted their service with a campaign to help children with mental issues. And in all seriousness, he did not see another irony here — he literally used those children in his promotional campaign to get more users to his service. Man, this is pure hypocrisy. This guy tried to justify his actions by hiding behind children with disabilities at the same time, accusing me of falling behind the society, that moved forward and stopped using such words as "retard" and "nigger" and at the same time using children to gain profits.

Rules and policies

The policies and rules exist exactly for that reason, so the moderators/admins can simply act accordingly. But this works the same way as the constitution or the laws — all the participants should follow them, otherwise they are useless. People can easily abuse the system. And my case is a great example of this. Adam called me an asshole and a dick several times while we exchanged emails. Somehow, in his eyes, I really wanted to be able to call anybody a retard on his platform. Well, in a very weird way, that's what I want, but I definitely don't want and don't need to make it my daily routine. Like a to-do list for the week — call somebody a retard at least once per day. What the fuck? I don't even think about it this way. I just don't want to be told how I should formulate my thoughts. And even if I violated their rules, that definitely did not give them the right to ban me from all the services that omg.lol offers. Again, a great demonstration when a person hiding behind a set of rules is simply abusing their power. Not to mention that it is a paid service and I paid upfront for several years.

Words and emotions

People can get emotional. I would say that a great part of our lives are guided by our emotions. Our thoughts are emotional, our actions can become very emotional. People build their careers by digging into other people's conflicting emotions. And yet there's this untold rule to hide your emotions and just be kind of a robot when you interact with others. And what I find bizarre is that it seems to be imposed even more online than in real life. I mean, the reaction can be really inadequate. Somebody said "bitch" — read-only for a week. Just try to imagine how many times you can say "bitch" in real life while you are talking to somebody. Yeah, of course you won't be saying it in a pharmacy all of a sudden, or in the kid's playground. But you can say it, and it can be overheard. So what? Will you be prosecuted and put under house arrest? No, nobody gives a shit. And it's very weird for me to see writings like "f*ck" or "a**hole". What the hell? It's the Internet. It should be a free space for everybody to enjoy. You don't like the language? Again, online you can just block people. That's a nice feature you can use on almost any social platform. But no, for some reason, people decide to impose these weird double-standards on themselves and have these sterile spaces where everyone is supposedly safe.

Restrictions don't work

I spent a good portion of my life in Russia and I witnessed how it degraded to the state it is in the year 2025. Gradually, the government was introducing more and more restrictions on how you can speak of things and which words you can use. And if you use the wrong ones, well, here comes the jail time for you. The mass media, especially ones that were government-controlled, started using euphemisms for a lot of things. You couldn't tell jokes about the church, you couldn't say "suicide", you couldn't say bad things about the police, judges, deputies, you name it. Your apartment has become the safest place for you to express your opinions. Because even your friends could report you to the police. God knows why, but it's a common case in modern Russia. What did it change in society? It definitely made everybody scared of everything. But did it do any good? Of course, not. People hate the government and they hate each other and themselves. Is this the world we want to build online?

That's a very-very short explanation of why I simply do not accept anybody telling me that I can't say "A" and have to say "B". You can't have selective freedoms. Either there's freedom for everyone or there's no freedom. Any restrictions, even if they are initiated with good intentions in mind, will gradually lead to more and more restrictions. And soon, those who were the first ones to support those restrictive laws will find themselves being shut up with the new laws introduced by yet another fighters for all good and against all bad.

Hypocrisy

The hierarchy of all this is that society still thinks these words and things. They don't say it, but it's still everywhere. And it's not just about words like "retard" or "nigger". It's about everything. All these quotas for diversity lead to some really messed-up situations, when somebody gets something just based on their race, identity, whatever. I don't think it's OK. I see the current attempts to change things as a work in progress and restricting people from saying things definitely won't solve any of the issues. I would say, on the contrary, it brings even more division. Because those who could vent out simply expressing their opinion verbally, have their mouths shut, having the frustration piling up until it explodes. So all these "safe havens" are actually not so different from mainstream platforms. I got my Instagram profile blocked just because I had a link to my Mastodon account in the profile. That's why I moved from it. And what did I get? A fucking ban for saying "retard". I moved from Twitter after this crazy shithead Elon Musk took over it. And I specifically moved to omg.lol so I can pay people who maintain the instance. And what did I get in the end? A ban for saying a word they don't like. How is it different from what Twitter and Instagram do? These are two extreme groups who simply fight each other and if you are not loyal, you get fucked. I don't want to be a part of it. I want a free Internet, where I don't owe anybody anything in terms of being myself.

Consequences

I canceled my donations to Mastodon and Pixelfed. If tools are used to oppress people, fuck these tools. Did I simply bump into the wrong person and overreacted? Maybe, but I have witnessed this kind of power abuse multiple times and something tells me that people who maintain their instances are more likely to use everything they can to make you submit. Because again, people get emotional and when there's a very convenient hammer lying around, and you can use it and there will be no consequences, you are very likely to use it. So, I'll stay here, in my blog. It's a bit of an inconvenience that I can't follow people that I find interesting, but it's better to be free than comfortable.